Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes
Latest Episodes
Welcome to Rich Thoughts, Poor Jokes. A mostly-serious show where two mental health professionals work together to teach you about having security, freedom, and luxury, in EVERY area of your life. Dr Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis coach you on the path to mental wealth, covering topics from sex and relationships, communication and self-care, work and parenting, and so much more.
Why Does Avoiding Anxiety Make it Worse??
You’ve probably heard that the antidote to anxiety is facing your fears. What you probably haven’t heard is exactly why avoiding them makes everything worse, and how the brain gets quietly tricked into staying stuck even when you think you’re doing the work. Checking on your kid who’s driving? Seeking reassurance from someone you trust? Even reaching for your phone mid-exposure? All of it counts as avoidance, and all of it resets the clock.
The Biology of Anxiety: Types, Causes, and What Is Actually Happening in Your Body
Anxiety is just energy. The problem is when your body keeps liberating that energy for threats that aren't there, or at levels the situation doesn't actually call for. This episode gets into the biology behind that: the types of anxiety disorders and what actually distinguishes them, the role of catecholamines and cortisol, how genetics and early environment both shape the system, and why things like your thyroid, your caffeine habit, or coming off a substance can produce anxiety symptoms that have nothing to do with your mental health at all.
What Is Anxiety ACTUALLY? Understanding the Most Common Mental Health Disorder
Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder in adults, and also one of the most misunderstood. Most people can recognize it when they feel it but would struggle to define it, distinguish it from fear or panic or worry, or explain exactly when it crosses from a normal human response into something worth addressing. Anxiety shows up in your body, your thoughts, and your behavior in ways that are not always obvious, and the line between healthy anxiety and the kind that quietly takes over your life is worth knowing before you assume you already have it figured out.
Why Do You Actually Want That? The Question That Changes Every Goal
Most goals fail before the first obstacle because the reason behind them was never honest to begin with. The same principles that drive motivation work across every area of life, and this episode puts them to work on the ones people struggle with most: fitness, nutrition, money, career, and relationships. The domains are different. The psychology is not.
Actually Do Hard S*** – Goal Setting, Systems, and Getting Unstuck
Motivation is not the thing that gets hard stuff done. A good system is. And there is a real difference between those two things.
It's Not Laziness: The Real Reasons You Keep Getting Stuck
Feeling stuck is not the same as being unmotivated. Sometimes something specific is in the way, and until you name it, no mindset shift or productivity hack is going to move you.
Get Hard Stuff DONE: What Motivation Actually Is and How to Make It Work
Feeling stuck is not a character flaw. It is usually a sign that something between your goal and your nervous system is not speaking the same language yet.
Was It a Bad Night or a Real Sleep Disorder? Here’s How to Tell Difference
A little insomnia some nights is normal. So is oversleeping after a hard week. The real question is whether your daytime life is falling apart because of it.
Night Owls, Snorers, and Sleep Divorce: Real Solutions to Common Sleep Problems
You might just be a night owl and not a lazy person. You might be waking up at 3am because of what you drank or ate, not because anything is wrong with you.
Knowing the difference changes everything.
You LEARNED to Not Sleep: How You Can Repair Your Sleep for Good
The gold standard treatment for insomnia has nothing to do with supplements, sleep trackers, or white noise machines. It's cognitive behavioral therapy, and the basics of it are more accessible than most people realize.
Sleep is EVERYTHING: The Secrets of Sleep Architecture and Sleep Hygiene
Poor sleep doesn't just make you tired. It quietly degrades your communication, your relationships, your physical health, your decision-making, and your emotional regulation. Most people don't notice until something breaks. Sleep is the place to start.
Take That to the Bank: How to Budget and Invest in Your Own Self-Care
Most people think of self-care as something you either do or skip. Let's reframe self-care as something you budget for today and invest in for later.
60 Seconds to 60 Minutes: Real Self-Care Ideas You Actually Have Time For
Not enough time for self-care is usually not the real problem. In this episode, we break down specific ideas across 30 seconds, five minutes, 20 minutes, and 60 minutes so you can actually use what you have.
Self-care doesn't have to be a ritual you build up to. A 20-second hug has oxytocin science behind it. A gratitude practice done consistently rivals antidepressants in research. Getting one real thing crossed off a list, the kind that actually stays crossed off, counts. These are not hacks. They're just what it looks like when you take your time seriously, even in small amounts.
If You Were Your Own Best Friend: Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion, and Self-Care
Most self-care efforts fail for the same reason: we skip the inner work first.
What Self-Care ACTUALLY Means (And What it Doesn't)
Self-care is everywhere, but most of what passes for it online is surface-level at best. Today, let's go deeper on what self-care actually is, why it has to be personal, and how to know if yours is working.
In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis open a new series on self-care, wealth, and investing in yourself. They challenge the popular shorthand around self-care and offer a more useful, individualized framework for understanding what it really means.
Executive Functioning Skills for Prioritizing, Planning, and Follow Through
Why do planning, time management, and productivity feel so hard even when you know what needs to be done?
In this episode, we break down practical executive functioning skills that support follow through. In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis explore advanced executive functioning skills related to prioritizing, planning, organization, time management, and monitoring progress. The conversation focuses on why productivity often breaks down and how small, practical adjustments can make goals easier to reach.
Why is Getting Started SO Hard?
Why is it so hard to get started, stay regulated, or slow yourself down in the moment?
In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis focus on three executive functioning skills that shape everyday behavior: activation, emotional regulation, and behavioral self control. Together, they explore why starting tasks can feel so difficult, how emotions can take up more space than we expect, and what happens when reactions move faster than intention.
Memory, Focus, and Why Multitasking Fails
Episode 2 of our four part series on executive functioning. Why is it so hard to remember things, stay focused, or follow through even when you care?
In this episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis take a closer look at three core executive functioning skills: memory, focus, and mental effort. Together, they explore how working memory actually functions, why multitasking strains the brain, and what really affects our ability to stay alert and engaged.
Why You’re Not Lazy: Executive Functioning Explained
What if the reason you struggle with focus, follow-through, or motivation isn’t laziness or lack of willpower?
In this foundational episode, Dr. Roxy Riefkohl-Cook and Dr. Stephanie Ellis break down what executive functioning actually is: the mental skills that help you plan, focus, regulate emotions, and follow through in daily life.
What Does it Take to Build Work Resilience?
We're wrapping up our series on Work Wealth by focusing in on how you can develop (and maintain!) resilience in the workplace.